| I've worked all week so I'm too tired to go! |
| The preacher moves around to much. |
| There are no people my age so I'm not going. |
| They don't meet my needs. |
| There are too many hypocrites in church. |
| There are too many sinners in church. |
| I'm too young - I'll go when I'm too old to have any more fun. |
| It's boring. |
| I'm not good enough. |
| I'm still a sinner. |
| I'll go to church after I stop smoking. |
| I'll go to church after I stop drinking. |
| I'll go to church after I stop cussin'. |
| I still go to the bars on Saturday night. |
| I like to party. |
| I work seven days a week. |
| I don't have time for God. |
| I work six days a week. The seventh day belongs to me. |
| Ain't got time. |
| I work lots of overtime....so I'm too tired to worship God. |
| The Sabbath day is Saturday, not Sunday. |
| I don't get up in time on Sunday morning. |
| I have nothing to wear. |
| I don't think I really believe in God.... I'm just not sure. |
| I don't believe in God. |
| I listen to church on the radio. |
| I attend church by watching it on TV. |
| I watch Billy Graham every week. |
| I belong to the 700 club; that's good enough. |
| I don't do nothing bad, so I'm goin' to heaven anyway. |
| My family can get me into heaven after I'm dead. |
| I'll get religion when I get to purgatory. |
| I'll get religious in my next life. |
| I don't understand what's goin' on anyway. |
| I can't follow what they do, so why should I just sit there. |
| I can't afford to give anything, and I don't want to be embarrassed. |
| I don't want to put anything in the plate. |
| Why should I give my money to some church? |
| I don't want to be around a bunch of bible thumpers. |
| The service is too long. |
| The sermon is too long. |
| I don't like them serving wine every two weeks. |
| I don't like them serving grape juice - they should serve wine. |
| I don't like the songs we have to sing. |
| I don't like the songs the choir sings. |
| The choir is too loud. |
| The choir doesn't sing often enough. |
| The choir isn't very good. |
| It's too cold in there, why don't they turn up the heat. |
| It's too hot, why don't they get air conditioning. |
| The air conditioner is too loud. |
| It's too stuffy, why don't they open some windows. |
| The people always try to get me to join the church. |
| I hate it when they ask me to stand up and introduce myself. |
| I'm not religious. |
| I don't believe in religion. |
| I worship God at home when I'm alone. |
| Pastors can't forgive sins. |
| I don't have transportation. |
| My wife doesn't go, so why should I. |
| My husband doesn't go, so why should I. |
| My family never went to church when I was a kid. |
| There aren't any good-looking guys there. |
| There aren't any good-looking girls there. |
| I don't like the statue of Jesus. |
| Jesus wasn't a blue eyed white man. |
| The pews are too hard. |
| It's uncomfortable in church. |
| I never know what time I'm going to get home. |
| I can't find a baby sitter on Sunday. |
| The songs are too old. |
| The songs are too European. |
| Why don't they sing Negro spirituals? |
| They're always asking me for more of my money. |
| I don't like all the hollering and yelling some people do. |
| I should be able to send in money if I want without having to put money in a plate. |
| I can't go to church because my butt hurts from all the sitting and I need joint replacements in my knee's from all the kneeling. |
| The organ is too loud. |
| They don't play the organ. |
| I'm not coming if they are going to play guitars and drums. |
| The whole service is designed for old people. |
| The whole service caters to young people. |
| They don't sing the songs I like. |
| Nobody notices when I'm gone anyway. |
| I don't go to church on Sunday because getting the kids dressed in their Sunday Best first thing in the morning makes me cuss and curse the Lord......very loudly. |
| I'm too hung over to get outta bed that early on Sunday. |
| God made Football.....doesn't that cover it? |
| The guy I slept with last night....you know.....what's his name.....couldn't tell me where the nearest church service was.....heathen that he must be! |
| Three words: Church On Line |
| I atoned for my sins last year. |
| I'm allergic to incense. |
| I'm allergic to wine. |
| I'm allergic to unleavened bread. |
| My cat is a prophet, I get all my Godly advice straight from the cat's mouth. If the cat doesn't tell me to got to church, I consider it great wisdom of the prophet. |
| I don't go to church cause I have a feeling that God doesn't like agnostics. |
| I am a song writer and wrote a song about excuses people give for not serving and worshipping the Lord. Your page covered most of them plus some. Here are some others: |
| I must mow the yard. |
| I have to wash the car. |
| It's family reunion day - most people don't seem to know that they CAN have a family reunion on a Saturday! |
| What go to church? Sorry I'm Catholic. |
| I can't go to church, my name is Judas. |
| My husband and I both work for our church and if he doesn't feel like going into church on Sunday, he'll often say, I just spent 5 (or 6) days there, if we go to church today, I will be in church everyday for the last 12 days. That much church can kill a person. |
| This parish is too politically correct. |
| Church Excuse: Veni, Vidi, NoN-Velcro. (I came, I Saw, I didn't stick around.) |
| Sorry I couldn't go to church last week, the devil is a horrible thing. |
| Sorry I missed Church, but I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian. |
| Here's an excuse for not going to church: The devil made me do it! |
| I'm sorry I couldn't come to church. The virgin sacrifice took longer than we expected. |
| I did not miss Church, I found a new Church. Its a wonderful Church so singing, no sit-stand-kneel, its very peaceful. Every Sunday you can faithfully find me at Saint Mattress. |
| I did not miss church, in fact I had quite a good time with out coming to church. |
| Sorry I missed church today. I was performing a human sacrifice. |
